Dear diary,
I think its just a human nature to assume things into their own hand. No matter how much they try to convince themselves or others that they're not assuming. They actually are. So Contradicting, so contradicting.
Life's getting outta hand. Especially when something you use daily for work and study suddenly get sick. & you need to send it to the hospital . *cries* Why does unlucky things happen on my birthday? Not just this year, every single mutha fucking year.
Okay, expect for last year. Things were much better. Just that birthday, and others are just muthafucking bad. Very chaotic. I wonder how do i even have inspiration to type something out when i'm so vexed bout my current situation. shit shit shit is all i can repeat when someone ask me bout my birthday .
Of course, i have to say otherwise for my birthday celebration. With my lovely babies, my birthday celebration was definitely a blast. However just not so nice on my birthday itself.
i think people should cherishing their love ones before its too late. I have seen cases, i have been through. & i would be honest and admit that i regret most of the times. But yeah at least i learnt my lesson throughout all this shit.
Most people just assume that the people who are caring for them now, would be always caring for them all the way. Actually i think the caring works via versa. You want them to remain in your life, you gotta put an effort and also some love to make things work. Normally, we just assume that the other party would understand how busy we're, or how much workload we're taking. Actually , somehow they do. But as time goes, they grow sick of how you're not bothering bout the entire thing. Hence, they just left assuming that you don't give a fuck about them.
But in fact, we do. Just that we,ourselves, assume the other party knows how we feel. Especially , if you're bad at expressing yourself. You would just consider the fact that they can understand how inexpressive you're. Of course, this doesn't happen often. Unless you're dating this purrrrrfect person who understand you fully ( which normally happens if you guys know each other for years )
Honestly, i consider myself as someone whose very very bad at expressing my feelings. I'm also very bad at hiding my dismay. I'm even worst when its comes to explaining myself. I consider myself as one of the fucked up kind. Sometimes , when i can just offend someone without realizing that i'm hurting them. I know, i'm all fucked up. But sometimes i really bad at expressing.
However, on the other hand.I'm pretty good at knowing and reading people emotions and feeling well. To me, their thoughts are purely read out loud. No i'm not a psychopath or a sidekick. Its just an ability to show and tell (this happen only a times). Alright , gotta stop bugging my internet. I'm downloading the service pack right now.
Goodnight diary, xoxo
