I finally got the glimpse of what is it to smile genuinely. To be truly carefree and happy.
Recently, I decided to have a few closure in my life, honestly it took really more endurance than agony to close things up. But I did, and i'm proud to say that, that hurts less then i expected.
To:
the guy whom i initially stood up for,
the guy whom i fought hard against my darkest soul for,
the guy whom broke every single promises he made,
the guy whom i really thought was worthwhile,
the guy whom i put in effort and sweat for,
the guy whom treated me like a toy.
Thank you, thank you for putting me through all these pain. If it wasn't the pain that you put me through, i won't have noticed that i needed closure, and i need a breather. Because of you, i woke up. I woke up from the slumber and realize how many people out there, truly care for me. Because of all those promises you made and never attempt to salvage, i realize how one-sided this was. Yet I'm sorry because I can't take this agony anymore. You made me bared my soul to you, and you treated all like a joke. You took my words like a humor; till i came to my senses, i realize how hilarious i looked to you.
I was perhaps treated like a possession, you wanted me. But the truth was, you never wanted to keep me. No, don't you ever dare to turn back. Because, it's game over.
Today was one of the day i smiled genuinely, till the fact that my parents finally said "wow, its a first i seen you smile this widely for a damn long time". Because I did, i finally learnt to let things go and accept the truth. No, not that the truth is a devastating or any sort. Just that, i decided to pursue what i want to pursue.
I came to realize how fortunate am i:
To be loved by someone who had never attempt to quit on me.
Whom had my back all this while
Whom even when he's on a suicidal mood- wants to be there badly for me.
Whom refuse to let me buy poetry, knowing that I would be emotional.
Whom take cares of me every way.
( This list can go bloody long )
I don't know how long would i ever be this fortunate, but then.... For once, i really don't give a damn about the length anymore. I'm milking it and letting it all go naturally. Because when you meet someone, you truly want to enjoy the time with them. & I'm finally enjoying every moment of it.
Let' us begin again, x
