Finally deciding to give my diary something to write about. Actually I'm deciding to give myself a break from studying or perhaps i'm just giving myself some excuses to take a break. I'm beginning to contradict whatever i'm saying. *Sigh*
I remember those days, when i could stare into your eyes. You could always brush my hair on my forehead and tell me i look beautiful & kiss me gently on my forehead. . Now its all gone. But it seems like it was just yesterday, just so yesterday.
"I cant deny, can't pretend. Just thought you were the one. Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry"
Everything happened so quickly, i wished i could just stop and enjoy the moment. But the truth hit me hard right where it should be. So i accepted the truth and welcome myself back to the cruel reality. It was like we were always meant to say goodbye.
Falling in love was uncontrollable, falling out of love was a controllable but a torture. But it was a need rather than a must.
When i realized its over, i sort of sighed in relieve. Relieve of all those pains that i could have suffer if it went on and on. Relieve to found out i was dating a jerk rather than anything. Yet when i fell, i fell for someone that was perfect. Perfect for a minute.
We were just masked by a minute of perfection yet hurt by years of imperfection.
So i tried masking my pain away by alcohol for a day and end up letting my body suffer for days. It taught me a great lesson, but i didn't had fun learning lesson by the hard way. Who says learning lesson by the hard way would ever be fun anyway ? Ha,ha.
Then i met this guy, and my feelings start to fall back into where it belong. He seems like the perfect choice, but now i'm afraid. Now i'm not gonna try, no now i'm not gonna hold it.
His beautiful smile mesmerize me. His eyes sparkles, he sounds magical. But there are so many factor that will stop my feelings from going on and on. So i'm gonna leave before i'm gonna get a second round of hurt.
I'm a coward, coward for love.
Xoxo, till then.
