Dear diary,
Am sitting down at Cafe sipping my mochacinno, when its 1.42 am. Not something you'd wanna have before you sleep. But promise my girl I'd keep her accompany tonight. xox
( This is continuous of my previous post )
R flooded my inbox with heartwarming messages. A few of them makes me wanna burst out in tears, knowing my best friend has been silently protecting me from harm these years. He questioned my well-being , but i always brushed him off like how i brush my parents nags. Somehow, this guilt fills me up now.
I told myself somehow, all these years of being the protector. I should return by protecting him, but i guess i failed that job miserably. What spark me to write 'bout him was because i want him to know he's important. & Perhaps he'll always be. Like my brother.
Yes , i dated him but we separate cause i told him clearly i don't feel the same way he felt for me. ( This is to answers people who reads my blog ) . Its not because he isn't charming enough, he's charming , he's considered one charming bachelor. Perhaps too charming for me.
& I love him like a brother , nothing will change the fact. Xox
I don't think i should continue on R, i could read books about us. But i think it'd be plain boring. *groans*
Y'know all these years, it wasn't relationship that kept me going. It was the love from the friends i had. Although i lose friends over the years, i gained some true friends over it. No gain, no loss.
The Nature of human is to go by feelings. But i go by what my eyes tell me , not by feelings. Feelings are changeable like weather. Nowadays, i prefer to judge purely by eyes. Not by rumors , not by feelings.Sometimes those feeling are the one destroying us slowly, mentally mind-fucking us.
I need to be less draggy, but i couldn't help being so draggy.
I live a life of a drama-queen, tragic to some people, fascinating to others, neutral for me.
Gotta get back to reading, xoxo
