Life sometimes love to play joke on people. I think its true " If you gain some , you lose some ". In my case, i lost quite a lot. But i gain a little. Still its better compared to having nothing at all.
Today i seen a completely different side of my best friend, my childhood buddy, whom i love to mention him as ' R ' . ( Not because i'm ashamed of him or whatsoever. I prefer to keep things under wraps because i don't want girls that are obsessed with him reading my blog and get crazy, or people to do a exhaustive search on him. I know he doesn't like to get excessive attention from the public. )
Well, I had a very intense argument with my dad today & i sort of walked out of my house. I know I'm fucked, but i couldn't stand being at home and getting fucked at. So i took my macbook, my books and of course some necessary stuffs and walked out. I think his quite shocked at my action. It was like when i walked out, i said " I had enough man ". Ha ha , i think i was born with more guts than fear.
So my best friend whom always seems to be have a 'telepathic' with me suddenly messaged me. Don't get me wrong, its not that we hardly communicate, it was like almost every time i face a trouble, or i feel like deep shit, or i think of him. He'd messaged me. Yes , so much of coincidence runs between us. It was like as if he was the worm in the apple. But yes , it isn't the main thing i'm going to emphasize about.
I told him what happened. And he asked me where was i going to stay. So i said, i'm fine being alone. (Well actually i prefer to be much alone. To me, loneliness doesn't kill me ; everyone was born alone ) . So he said : " You wanna come over and stay? I'll let you have my room if you want to. Its not like my parents don't know you ". But i insisted i'm fine being alone. He got every agitated that he called and scream.
Gosh, i grew up with him. & I never really seen him so pissed this way before. Well he said through the call " So , where the fuck are you going to stay ? Stay where you're i'm gonna fucking drive over and pick you up ". Wow, He used " FUCK " in a conversation with me!!!!!! Through 10 years of knowing him. He never used " FUCK " on me. Seriously, although i argue with him every single time . He had never used that word on me, it was like .....
i stunned there for awhile,clueless for a second. & I assure him that i'm gonna be fine anyway. That pissed him further i guess. But he hanged the phone before i could continue my "assurance of my safety" . 30 minutes later, he appeared right in front of me. I was in a library alone anyway, i was trying to get some peace at the library. And there he appeared , flustered and pissed.
He let me check out my book, before dragging me to his car. And drove me to back to his house.
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I know this sounds awfully weird. But i grew up with him, ever since i moved to this district. At that age, i was hooked to basketball. I was kinda of a tomboy i guess. - chuckles - And i knew him because we start playing basketball together. It feels like decade now, thinking back then. I had short hair, always wear basketball pants and wear baggy shirts. I was so boy-lish that my mom was horrified. (p / s : when i see my old photos, im even more horrified that she is )
R watched me grew up. He was like the brother i never had. He took care of me , argue with me, fought with me. We studied together for almost every exams he and i had. Now that he has grown up, and is serving the nation. & I'm left to study alone. I feel so lost without him. But he does come over and accompany me as much as he could. We sounds like what people like to call " Childhood lovers " .
Well, i did had a crush for him when i was in secondary school. But i was still quite boy-lish. While he was the more handsome and popular guy. I wasn't the most popular girl in school. We entered different respective secondary school. But it wasn't one of the matters that matter to us. But the crush didn't last long, and i ended up with my First love. Completely different story for that. But R never left, he was still like my big brother guarding me.
Then we both grew up, we sort of grew apart. Compared to the past where we used to meet like twice a week. We now meet twice a month. I know it sounds quite a lot for others. But to us, we sort of never bother how many times we meet anyway. We usually do the same stuffs everytime we meet, no difference. We had our own beau now and then. But normally , we'd formally introduce our beau to one another.
1 year back then....
R confessed. And i took his confession as a joke. Cmon for 9 years you were my big brother, and suddenly you confessed. Obviously i took it as a practical joke. But for years his sincerity touched me. So i start to date him this year, well its quite awkward ...... But it was nice for a start, but we realized we weren't really suitable for one another. And we changed back to being childhood buddy instead. - AWKWARD -
Anyway, things were back to normal. And about 2 months ago, i wanted a break from the reality. So i went missing for a week , Of course i told him beforehand, cause his the paranoid freak so i prefer to him in advance if not he will come knocking at my door.
Imagine a week later, when i turned back my phone on. Wow, his message flooded my phone. I think i will say it in another post tomorrow about the content he send. I was quite touched when i saw ......
Okay, my head is spinning. Gonna take a rest.
xoxo.
