Dear diary,
It's new year eve, i was supposed to be looking forward to it. But suddenly i don't, i might have hate this year quite much. But i have this uncertainty feeling deep inside that tell me I shouldn't be anticipating much for 2012. Damnit.
But yeah,I'm having a brand new start with someone totally new... It's a good thing perhaps, but still the insecurity still remain. Though i have to say, I'm quite pleased with everything i have now. I love to annoy my boyfriend almost every minute when I'm with him. If i'm not with him, I'd send him loads of MEME to annoy him.
& Because his my loyal reader, the way we got together is almost exactly what i described...... Wanted to cry when he say that " Remember, this is what you wrote on your blog ? The way you want it " . It's really sweet when someone you love is so observant. Very appreciated y'know. Some guys can date that particular guy for years and never she actually have a blog. Quite appreciate his lovely stalking. *giggles*
I can't deny I'm really scared to screw things up again, I'm scared I'd do something silly, say something stupid and screw it up again. If not, I'm scared he'd screw things up instead. ARGH, uncertainty kills . Especially insecurity.
Yesterday's something amazing, and i look forward for these amazing days with you on and on. We might have different upbringing, different personality, different religion. But we never stop amaze each other how much similarities we might have too. & Strong our belief to make our relationship work too.
A relationship is a team effort, not just one person doing all the job. It's all bout giving and take, understanding and loads of factors. Loving someone doesn't mean you only love them for their looks, status, money, good personality, you love them for their flaws too. Sometimes your flaw, might be their bonus, and via versa. It kinda of mend one another in another way...
I hope I'm making a right choice though, by placing all my stakes here. Giving up the rest population. I think its quite worth it, cause I feel happy and good. Okay maybe a little confused and scared but still quite contented. I guess i hurt some people because I'm choosing this path, but this is what I want. Life's so short to keep hesitating, so yeah.
x
