Dear diary,
How do you feel when everything you knew was a lie? Everything you had seen was just illusion to delude you from reality? How do you feel when your past comes haunting you right at your doorstep? Does it frightens the shit out of you to be reminded?
The pain that you're badly running away from , comes back and fuck you there ...
Have you finish something then you realize ' what the fuck am i doing the whole time ' ? Likewise, in a relationship you worked so hard to maintain when it finally ended , you realize ' why the fuck i stayed on with sucha person , why didn't leave them when i could , why did i stayed and till i realize they cheated/flirt then i left? '
Talk bout flirting, its a killer in a relationship. Whatever you do, as long as it seems like talking nicely to an opposite sex its deem as flirting. So nowadays now people get smart, flirt on facebook message , now that flirting get really cozy because you guys are apparently on a 'private server' , no one get to see how sweet you're talking & you can lied bout your status.
Unlike Facebook comments you can't lied your status, because apparently his/her close friends or he/her will read it and will call you and fuck you up. So now, what's deem as flirting? In every other people opinion, flirting can be seemly different.
Well i can't deny that my boys don't flirt. I even caught them flirting once or twice, quite annoying because i told them to cover their tracks well. Well perhaps i didn't state my rules clearly, or either they just wanna proved how popular they're with the girls.
My rules states clearly that if you wanna flirt, please flirt on facebook message, have the dignity to respect your girlfriend whose on your facebook and also for people who knows bout this relationship. Because words spread and even if your girlfriend didn't have that girl on her Facebook, people will eventually tell her and this is when the ' FALL-OUT' moment comes. And honestly, you're the one in the wrong.
Sometimes i feel that having a need of so many friends on Facebook is quite redundant. Honestly, you keep on adding boys/girls , do you really know them? Especially when you're attached, you might wanna watched out who you accept on facebook and who you're added. If you're a male and have added loads of girls on facebook, damn and once they accept it appears promptly on your news feed. It'll fucking irritate the shit out of you ( personally experience ) . If you're a female, accept guys you really know. Because guys flirt a lot, no matter you're attached or not, its their basic instinct to just flirt with you. So yea, avoid unnecessary arguments for god sake.
It's not fun making your girlfriend/boyfriend mad with jealousy, its not fun and the aftermath of it might be terrible. You might completely lose the trust of the person you love, not something you wanna risk on if your relationship is unstable. Okay, someone people keep emphasizing that their relationship are build on trust, that's why they free to flirt. I'm like, seriously, don't attract unncessary trouble.
Personally , i'm touching on this topic. Because i'm fucking feeling this way, and I hate this jealously feeling it makes me insecure, makes me so mad that i just wanna walk out of this whole shit.
Which explains why i don't really wanna love anyone, commitments are scary and especially if you're doing this alone. & Especially when insecurity beats the shit out of you. You don't know whether to stay or just leave the whole thing as it is or just fucking walk out of the whole thing.
If i were dating a guy, and he looks at his phone 24/7 , i swear he'll never make it to the second round. I won't even bother contacting him right after, unless of course he states clearly that his messaging his mates about homework related or work related stuffs. But honestly, i believe you can fucking call and settle if once and for all , best before you go for the date or after it. You don't just fucking message someone 24/7 when you're dating them, like WHAT?! Am i fucking dating your phone or you man? If i wanted to date my phone, i would go out myself and with my phone, it makes more sense this way.
& if its work related stuffs, C'mon you take 24 hour or what 5 hours and can't settle a shit? If shows how efficiency you're doing stuffs. Normally, i would state things quite clear with my friends so that i won't have to keep staring at my phone 24/7 during the date. It's really fucking rude to do that. Like not respecting that the other party is with you.
If not, you could continue dating your phone and i date my phone instead. It makes much more sense. It doesn't make sense disrespecting other people presence.
Okay I'm fucking mad with jealousy now, but i really can't do much about these sense of insecurity because i clearly have no rights to care or say much. So fuck it, I'm going to bed with a heavy heart.
Nights crowd,xoxo
